Adieu, Adieu to you and you and you

You guys! I am once again leaving here.

I know, I know, I am such a blog hooker.

But to make any sort of notice and career and get my clearly awesome opinions circulating I have to go where the dream makers are.

You can now find me at emleahy.tumblr.com

Oh you know a different house don't mean different shoes mmmk?!

I have no idea what that phrase is supposed to mean.

But I loved my time here and I am excited to get into tumblr hopefully. maybe. not at all.

The sun has gone to bed and so must I,
Em

I'm Not Saying She's a Gold-digger...

But she ain't...telling her respective partner she's potentially pregnant.

Why? Why! WHY?!

Ok so I found myself maybe in this situation. I mean no, I have a friend who is in this situation. Aside the point... the point is...

Why is it women (and there are a lot of us) who are in the pregnancy scare situation keep it from the respective father?

So here are the reasons why I assume one does this and then my reasons why they are being idiots.

Reason #1: Because I don't know for sure.

Well ok first of all...get to knowin for sure. But I can't full heartedly back this up, because ladies, it is damn near impossible to buy a "uh-oh am I prego?" test without being completely humiliated. Like what do you buy with those?! As I went to purchase mine it's like... I also needed a pack of beer, but those don't go well, people are so judgey. And then it's like but I need some milk and eggs, but am I being too ironic? Well I can't buy it on it's own because that's too obvious. Well I could buy it with a bottle of real and fake champagne but there's no ring on my finger... Or I could put it with gift things and maybe someone will think I am buying it for someone who wants one of those tiny things? CONUNDRUM! But I totally spaced off. Point is... You need to know for sure, take a test, but also talk to your doc. And now... why you shouldn't keep it away from yo baby daddy... because why, Why, WHY, WHY?! should you have to wait and agonize and create absurd future plans in your head and be the one to worry while he goes off scott free? Hell to the no. That boy needs to be put in his place. Oh it feels better without a condom? Well awesome, by the way, here's the hell you put me through. Also, how would you feel if someone sprang news on you that "Hey I kind of had this feeling for a week or two while I was late..." I don't know. I think, tell him. Tell him that it is a worry and that you are going to find out and let him know. He may want to go with you. He may go halfsies on the preggy indicator (holla -- those things are kind of expensive because you never have this scare when you have money)

Reason #2 --- He has a new girlfriend

Hey what do you know, I know this situation too. Ok yes this is sticky because it's not that you want him anymore, in fact you are GLAD he found someone else because you were using him for sex and he was easy because he was in love with you... or maybe not, but hey that's just one perspective. Listen girl, it ain't easier either which way. You probably need to alert him so !) he doesn't make the same mistake with New Girl (shoutout to the show) and so that !!) he doesn't think he has long gone gotten over you, cause heyyyy you're around FOREVER. That was scary. What I am saying is, if he is mature enough to jump into a relationship that is THAT soon after you guys canoodled (ahem...I'd be suspicious here..yes this is because of personal experience) then he should be mature enough to know how to handle this situation. And it's really fair to lady #2 as well. She has a right to know if this is the situation she wants to be in. If so, awesome, if not, then he shoulda wrapped it. Just sayin.

Reason #3--- You aren't sure who the father is.

Ya I'd wait. Or pick the better candidate. That rhymed.

Reason #4 -- You're scared.

Well welcome to technology, texts are easy. Who gives a sh*t if they are impersonal and that's "not the way you break up with someone". F*ck it. It's the Twitter age. You can do what you want. Everyone's going to find out anyways. Plus I HATE confrontation.

I guess what I mean is, ladies: don't be afraid to make your man afraid. If you are racking your head over it, who says you should be alone? Remember -- try to find out as soon as possible, but if just isn't soon enough and you need someone, then what's the sense in not trying? Seriously... it COULD be a ride to the doctor. And then a ride to ice cream after. That could just be me, but I don't think I'm unique so it could be a lot of you.

And USE protection. But I'm not an idiot, life happens. Just be smart about your next move.

By the way I went with red bull and cheez its and a sweatshirt. I also chose the hippest cashier at 11PM. I didn't get judged at all. Not like Plan B. Those people are awful. I should have bought more tests just so I wouldn't have to endure it again. I mean... I should wait until I'm married so it will be good news instead of bad... yeah...that's it.

One line means...?,
Em

Funkytown

I'm in a funk.

I don't know how to get out of it.

Well I do know, sort of.

I need hobbies. I need things to do.

But between work and school I am just too tired to do anything else.

But I really want to do something else.

So I need activities and hobbies I can do.

Things that don't require a lot of time. Or money.

Maybe I just want to do things like color.

Now I kind of want to color. I kind of want to sleep too. Sadly, sleep will win. It always does.

I also want to like get up early and enjoy the morning. Weird.

I wish I could go into a Panera and read and work on my writing and stuff without being disturbed. But everyone knows me... so it's hard. But I might just do it anyways.

Is this formatting weird? I think it's weird. I probably won't do it anymore. It's too breaky. That's a word.

Maybe I will try the guitar again. It's so pathetic how it just sits. Sometimes I feel like it stares at me with the saddest eyes in the entire world. I have completely neglected it. It's probably the same way my fish, Bennett looks at me. Except at least he has a name. My guitar is one of the few things I have no named. Now that makes me sound positively insane but whatevskis. I name things. A lot.

I guess I have a lot of pictures to upload. I could do that.

But I think I will just sleep on it.

Sleep wins. Always.

But I'll probably end up listening to Incubus because I forgot I used to kind of like them.

Scatterbrained,
Em

Top 4 Overplayed.

Why. why. WHY. are the top 4 most requested songs on radio stations the 4 most overplayed?

I mean, I get the obvious. But what I am saying is... why are you calling in and requesting songs that you will hear in no more than 2 minutes? By the time you get in on the radio station, guess what? They just played your song. But you didn't hear it, because you had the radio turned down. Because you have to when you are calling into the radio station. Congratulations. You're an idiot.

So I guess my issue is I want to hear the top 4 interesting requested songs. I want to hear some throwbacks people. I want them to be like "Alright these are our top 4 requested songs" and Sean Kingston's Fire Burning comes on. Yes, hell yes, who all called in to hear that song?! Epic. I liked that song as well, good choice.

I mean, I know when IIIII called in to request a song, (that is not infamous among my friends) it was not an overplayed song. It was popular yes, but still had few and far between plays. It was a once every 3-4 hours. Not a once an hour. But that was when there was a lot of music coming out.

I guess I have no real way to summarize this. I just really don't like hearing top 4, top 5 lists and then after they are done playing those... they play them again. Because they are in the loop. Ridiculousness.

Now that I reread my work, I bet those radio stations don't even track the most requested songs. They just get lazy and just play the most popular songs out because it seems the most logical. Well I'm just making things up at this point but just remember, requesting songs is because you DON'T get to hear them every hour.

I may just be bitter because I once got suckered into announcing one of those lists. When I called to request a song.

Ring-a-ling,
Em

The Playboy Clubbed

Alright, so it comes as no surprise that I have been watching The Playboy Club faithfully. I have to admit I find the Playboy Bunny the epitome of classy sexuality. If ever I get my figure to where I want it to be I will one day be a Playboy Bunny for Halloween. Blame it on The Girls Next Door, but I just don't see anything wrong with it.

And now it comes to my attention that The Playboy Club has been canceled. And that it has been rallied against by parent groups and whatnot as being degrading and too sexual and women's rights blahdiddy blah blah blah.

Now...let me get this straight... the show is premised on girls who had nowhere to turn, who wanted to make something of their lives, get their start in the world. And that's....degrading....? How? Because they wear skimpy bunny suits? Because of the magazine? Even though anyone who knows their history... the bunny is far different from the playmate.

But it's ok for Pan Am* to be aired (with considerably shoddier writing) which basically implies the SAME lifestyle? But because they are wearing a stewardess uniform and therefore covering up more of their body it's ok? Isn't there some sort of saying regarding dressing up a mule in horseshoes but it's still a mule... ? And l mean like they totally have a great range of diversity in that show too just like The Playboy Club... oh...wait...nope. Just kidding.

Dear World,
I am confused.

So The Playboy Club is alas too provocative for primetime. But it's ok for the character Brittany on Glee* to wear that horrendously inappropriate short skirt? A show that's even more geared to the impressionable age group? Oh I'm sorry, it's ok because it isn't degrading... she was singing Beyonce's Girls, which is centered on girls running the world. So skimpy/slutty outfits are cleared when their backed by a powerful song. A skimpy sexy outfit has no place in a time where women were all around degraded. Nice hypocrisy, parent groups.

I guess all I want is the show back, because it was getting really good, and I really wanted to see it through. So if a cable network would like to pick that up... that would be aces.

I'm Bunny,
Em



* These shows have redeeming qualities too, but for comparison sake I singled them out. I actually watch both of these as well.

Short and Sweet

This, kiddos, will be short and sweet.

Because I've had a bit to drink.

Because typing and spelling correctly is hard.

The people who hate reality television... are people who can't admit the life they live.

Jersey Shore, Real World, don't deny it... these people exist in your life. The only difference is, their versions have been condensed to fit a season. These people carry it out your entire friendship. Think about it. I could elaborate if you want me to. And I will win.

MTV knows,
Em

Make Me Lose My Breath

So I am sitting here watching It's Complicated with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. And I am watching it because I really love Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, and because I was told by many people how hilarious it is.

And it is. I am laughing.

However, that being said, the character Jane Adler always seem to be out of breath. Like I don't kknow if it's because she's under a lot of stress, or excitement, or if there is a breathing issue. But everyone knows I have breathing issues, like if I see someone take a deep breath, I have to take a deep breath and sometimes I have to take deep breaths to make sure I still can... I digress.

The point is... I just don't know how to handle characters that are always out of breath. I feel like I have anxiety. You just want to shout "STOP. BREATHE. Now go..."


In other news, I teared up during the season finale of Awkward. Talk about your awkward... I feel completely embarrassed by that.


Take a deep breath and count to 10,
Em

BIRTHDAY MONTH!

Oh yeah baby! The best 2 months are ahead. September -- Husker football, my birthday, great weather. October -- more Husker football, continuous great weather, Branson camping and Halloween. Not to mention, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Octoberfest, Apple Cider. Oh gosh, I could go on.

Right now I currently am undergoing a toothache, or jaw ache of some sort. And it's really getting to me. I think I might have to go get some oragel or whatever that stuff is.
I think my biggest fear is that it is a tooth issue and I am going to have to get it pulled or something like that. And then I fear that I am going to lose all of my teeth. Like they're all going to fall out. It's probably because I haven't been to a dentist in years, but now I don't want to go due to anxiety that they're going to be like -- your mouth is a mess and we're taking out all of your teeth. EEK!

I'm watching Made right now. The Made coach is super hot. And that's kind of the only reason why I'm watching the episode. That's sad.

Alright I can't even think clearly right now, I need to look up solutions for this tooth issue.

Two thirty,
Em

Since I wasn't able to watch the VMAs with my usual crowd ... and by usual crowd I mean of course my friends that allow me to make comments throughout the whole thing -- I will instead do it on here! Suck it up, if you don't want to read them, move along.

1) Lady Gaga is a lot shorter than I thought, amazing what heels will do

2) 'Lil Wayne -- stop skateboarding - you're black' HAHAHAHA classic.

3) I still think Jonah Hill is funny and furthermore, I'd still be all over that. Except now he's in shape and so would 10 million other girls -- but just a heads up Jonah -- I woulda been on that pre lifestyle change -- jusss sayin.

4) Niki Minaj -- What in the...

5) Is Jessie J in a cast? And is it bedazzled?

6) Miley -- What is that dress? You look 75. In 1940. And not in the good way.

7) Beavis and Butthead's return will be interesting....do you think they'll modernize it?

8) Jessie J looks like Ginnifer Goodwin -- no seriously -- to the point that I think they're the same person.

9) Ugh Nirvana mentions -- 2 so far, 'nuff said.

10) Chris Brown < Peter Pan

11) "He's my boy" - Justin Bieber about Chris Brown ... watch out Selena Gomez...

12) Gaga, Britney, Beyonce all at once? Oh goodness almost can't even handle it.

13) Yep, still love Beyonce even IF I am not a huge fan of the latest album.

14) Ugh another one.

15) WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?! I blame Dan and Jeff for lacking in keeping me updated on music that I am COMPLETELY boggled as to who these new artists are. With the exception of Wiz Khalifa (ih) and Foster the People.

16) I LOVE that Lady Gaga didn't break character. Having once dressed in drag myself, it's a blast. Haha so awesome.

Wellp that's all I got because I didn't remember to record it beyond scheduled time so it cut off. Blast it! Oh well. Pretty decent I must say.

Moon Man,
Em

If You're Sleeping, Are You Dreaming

I think the one thingwe take for granted in the entire world more than anything else is memories. We have so many memories and we don't even remember all of them. Right now I am listening to a song that came up on my iTunes and I can tell you exactly why I have this song. A boyfriend of the past once posted the lyrics to this entire song to me, shortly after that it was on the radio as my mother dropped me off at driver's ed which I hated because I didn't know anyone, but hearing this song on the radio and associating it with my then boyfriend meant all the world to me.

And now that I hear this song a good....8 years? later? Maybe more... I can still recall all of that. I can still remember the exact moment that I saw those lyrics for me. I knew then and there he would be my first love. He was and still is. We are good friends now and I thank the Lord every day that we were able to realize we weren't meant for each other at that time and were able to be great friends out of the whole experience. After all, high school relationships are sooooo overrated (ha. Haha.) But at the same time, that kid that for his own privacy I will remain nameless, and I were destined to be in each other's lives forever, we were just too young to understand that it didn't have to include sex.

There's no real moral, and I am sure I will bring up this subject time and time again because it boggles my mind every time how much we dismiss our memories when honestly, they are sooo powerful. a scent, a smell, a color, a show, a movie, or some simple song lyrics can change your mood instantly.

Did I mention this same song also got me through countless days of work as a strawberry picker?!


Someday Blue October, I will call YOU,
Em

Whore-ible Me.

I left this quaint little blog space of mine for tumblr.com because someone convinced me it would be better. I won't say who... but if you ask me, I probably will.
Well I tried it out and I fiddled around with it and tried it out and guess what? It didn't fit. So I came crawling back, tail in between my legs.

So I'm back, blogspotters and I am definitely going to make more of an effort to hang around. Truth being, because I miss it. And also because very soon I am going to assume I will need a forum to analyze and examine my life to an obsolete space so I don't feel like I am burdening someone.

On a different note - I think my favorite thing about watching television shows is trying to figure out which character I most represent. Right now I am engulfed in Sex and the City and I can't decide if I am more Carrie or Miranda. I guess I could just chalk it up to a little bit of both but that's a little lame. I know I'm not Charlotte and I hope I'm not Samantha... I don't have the greatest track record but that came under completely different circumstances than Ms. Jones. I would say I lean more toward Carrie, but there's always that voice that's like "EVERYONE wants to be Carrie, but no one is" but I think I might really be. I can't really explain why. I guess if you have opinions you can definitely chime in at any time.

I wasn't really going anywhere with that. I'm really just trying not to fall asleep. I guess in that regard, I am slightly delirious.

Well glad to be back, more to come I'm sure.

That title... had more to it, but then again I didn't really want to delve into any of that.

But I'll give you one guess,
Em

Hiatus

A hiatus from television is interesting. I mean all "oh my gosh this is a show?" aside, commercials become EXTREMELY fascinating again.

I know when I set out to write this about 5 hours ago, I had 2 specific commercials in mind. However, as time passed, I can only remember the one and in turn gained another one. So here we go and maybe through rambling processes I will remember the missing link!

One: Kleenex Hand Towels.

I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I mean on one end I am getting mind raped about recycling and going green. I get the going green lecture, I feel, so many times a day I'm turning green. (That was a... really lame attempt at saying it's making me sick) and here is a product that discourages the use of normal everyday hand towels and is encouraging throw away towels. Like... I thought everybody threw huge hissy fits about hand towels in public restrooms because it's a paper waste and instead wanted us to move to air dryers. Now here we are creating the disposable hand towel for our HOMES?! Soooo instead of simply changing and washing our cloth towels, they want us to use basically...paper towels. In our bathrooms. AND THAT'S another thing! They're paper towels. They are freaking paper towels. Just put some paper towels in the bathroom you crazy, why are you paying 3 extra dollars for what is baaaasically a paper towel?!?! Alright but I digress. So you may be wondering, as I was how are they marketing this environmental unfriendly product? They hit you with the GERM fear. "oh gosh look at how many germs this cloth towel collects, who KNOWS what people are using that towel for and you are using it to dry your CLEAN hands? Your husband whacked off into them literally ten minutes ago. That's not embroidery that you're feeling, hun. So buy our disposable towels... so you can stay germ free." Like... how can you win? Who can win here? Too crazy.... Now... how does this get crazier? So they got you all hopped up on the germ thing. Ok so in the commercial, if you care to pay attention, and I do because I sat on my pancake ass and watched Lifetime all day because old episodes of Grey's Anatomy were playing. Anyways, the chick... wipes her hands and then wipes the counter.... ? I mean I don't exactly see there being extreme germ transfers because I guess your hands are clean so you aren't bringing any harm to the counter, but at the same time, we still hit air dryers with the back of our hands...? So you advertise this product to be a multi-one-time-use towel and yet you show the woman using it for multiple things. I don't get it. AND on top of it, two kids use one of them to dry their wet SAINT BERNARD. Not like a little friggin chihuahua. A huge mofo Saint Bernard. Now I am no expert by any means, but damnit I'm close and Kleenex, you ain't no Brawny. Your tissues can't even compare to Puffs' kick ASS lotion formula. So get real, just a little bit, please.

The other commerical I still can't remember and I might reblog it if I ever come across it again. Which I'm sure I will.
The other OTHER commercial was the Trojan Fire and Ice. but after my dissection of Kleenex hand towels, it just doesn't seem to be worth it. Basically the commercials are awful. They're cheesy and they don't really make you feel any more comfortable about condoms or buying condoms or buying specialty condoms on top of that. But there was one where they call the condom "blows your hair back" or... something and the couple turn and sure enough their hair is sticking straight out. Not going to lie, it was hilarious. However, you, Trojan, still don't make the condom any less uncomfortable to purchase. But I appreciate your effort. Maybe you could hook up with the Axe commercial guys, because that's just pure genius sometimes.

YES I KNEW it! I KNEW if I rambled long enough I'd remember the other one. Dannon Activa yogurt. HAHA ok. So Jamie Lee is prancing around some park with an Activa Yogurt cart... if you will. And approaches this couple. Attractive-ish woman, and a bigger semi ok looking guy. And she's like "HEY! Eat this delicious yogurt" and they're like alright we've been walking around we could use some yogurt. So they take the yogurt and the woman says "Wait a minute... isn't this the yogurt that..." And JLC cuts her off and is all "HELPS with your digestive system?! YES." The husband then promptly shoves the yogurt back and says "Ohhhhh noooo thank you" And JLC is all "nonono this is different this stuff tastes good!"
--- insert my opinion--- Jamie Lee... that homeboy did NOT push back the yogurt because he feared it tasted awful. I am 99% sure the push back was because SOMEBODY doesn't need that extra oomf in their digestive system. SOMEBODY doesn't want to be in the little boy's room all day, mmkay? And you can totally tell! He's eating it, not even swallowing the yogurt, it is still in his mouth and he's like "oh you're right this does taste good" READ: "oh I am not going to swallow this, that was not my issue with it"

And yes I realize it's a commercial and it's not real, but it still bothers me.
Then again, there is little that does NOT bother me.

New and Improvingly yours,
Em

Well the bathroom and closet are done.

My sincerest apologies. But I am without internet, and therefore, blogging becomes extremely difficult.

But note: One procrastinator + 9 unpacked boxes, do not = a settled in apartment.

Ridiculous.


Pack Tapingly Yours,

Em

I am so incredible.

As much as we try, as much as we strive to go on our day to day and not think about it, the thought will at some point consume us. It will overtake our thoughts until we obsess and obsess to find the perfect answer. I'm talking of course about...

What superpower would you have?

I mean if you could.

A lot of people are soooo generic picking things like superspeed, flying, and reading people's minds. But to me all of that is just so boring (although, not that if I possessed any of those I would be complaining exactly, but I mean be real it's not exactly a 10 on the creativity scale). I guess none of the ones I think of necessarily are. But what would I do with superspeed? I like to take my time for certain tasks. And what if you couldn't control it in anyway? What if you always went fast? And then what about time? What does time become to you? Do other things slow down in order to make up for your speed? It just seems like a superpower that would REALLY only benefit other people I just don't see the use.

Same goes with flying. What the f*%k is the point? I don't like birds first off, so I think I would have supreme issues having a shared space with them, and what about planes? What if you ran into one? People might bargain like oh you could go anywhere blah blah, yeah well how would I take my crap with me? Strap it on my back? That seems like a colossal pain. I don't know, maybe I'm just knocking it before I try, but I don't imagine flying being my cup of tea. I would take a guess that I wouldn't be able to wear dresses or a skirt. How am I supposed to listen to my music? That is THE best part about having a car. Would it require I have wings or a cape or would I just be able to do it? Then there's Batman, which don't get me wrong, I like batman (well I'm not a hero girl so much as a villain girl, but he's got the best villains so I'll hand it to him to be a pretty cool cat. I mean bat) but I digress, but homeboy picked an animal that doesn't even FLY. (Yes. That's right. Bats don't fly. And yes I am using this blog and yes I randomly brought up Batman so I could divulge this factual information. Contrary to popular belief. Bats. Don't. Fly. They glide. They climb and then they glide.) Whatever point is: flying, no good.

Now the real kicker. Reading People's Minds. I want to punch in the face everyone who chooses this. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY would you make your life a living HELL?!?!?!! Being able to read people's minds? Are you f*%king nuts? Do you like to go mentally insane (note: no offense to those of you who would like to). Then when I spew this out at them they always say the same damn thing that just makes me want to continue punching: "Well I would want the kind where I could turn it on/off when I wanted to." Ok...ok... scratch mentally insane, are you mentally retarded? I am honestly meaning this in the best way possible. Do you really think Mindreader Chooser that you would be able to 'just turn it on/off'? Get. Real. (Well, as real as you can be, I'm discussing superpowers.) The temptation would be too great, mindreading would be like Pringles or cashing in the V-Card... once you pop, you don't stop. It would be inevitable that once having the ability to read minds, you would forever be insatiable. You would be so consumed with the thought of other people's thoughts, it would never end. So what's the big deal, you may wonder? Uh easy, if there is anything you need to learn from me it's this: who gives a f*%k what people think? AND again, WHAT is the point? WHAT?! so you can.... know what people are thinking annnnnnd bend to their every will?? "Oh Barry doesn't like that I'm talking about my cat Cottonswab, I should talk about something else" No crazy, keep talking about your cat if that's what you want to talk about, if he doesn't like it, he needs to man up and say it, not assume you are a lameass that chose mindreader and go ahead and just change the subject yourself. So that was a semi-awful example but you get the point. Mindreading is stupid.

So what power would I choose?
Uh Hi, Storm is only the like coolest comic book chica around. (yeah we are going to go ahead an assume Catwoman was not in the running because EVERYONE knows she actually is). I would, without a doubt, choose to change the weather. Why? Because this benefits me. If I want it to be rainy, it will be rainy. If I want a snow day, a snow day we shall have, if I want it to magically be all melted the next day, then damnit it will be. If I have plans to enjoy a baseball game, it's going to be the perfect mix of sun and shade. "But people will bug you to change the weather to their liking" Oh, I know, but I am the one with the power, not them. They can suck it. And also give me like $50 and I'll look into it. And you can bet, if I controlled the weather, there would be a starry night, every night.

Also, I'd like to have the Mary Poppins ability where she snaps her fingers and shit gets put away. I mean mainly because I am having packing procrastination problems right now. (Did you see that, Didja see what I did there? A little alliteration for you fine folks.) I would want the power because I have awful issues with maintaining a clean room. It is so difficult for me. The biggest problem with it is this: I don't mind the occasz gentlemen caller. But I have a bit of an OCD issh that if my room isn't reasonably tidy, they can't come over. I guess I could just get over that OCD of mine, or just learn to keep my room tidy. But if it's all the same to you, I'll take snappy fingas.


You're probably wondering where this is coming from. I don't really know. Maybe it's because the movie Kick Ass is coming out or has come out (I'm not sure--BUT I was going to protest because I thought it was PG and I was slightly outraged that a PG film had the word 'ass' in it, but then I was informed it was R) or it could be because the DN (that I RARELY, RARELY read) had an article about superheroes. Or because I'm wearing my batman shirt with my black hoodie that I masked as a cape and took awkward fbook pics. Or because this is usually my favorite question to ask potential suitors (I would never want to date a mindreader).

Whatever the reason, know this: although superpowers are magical fantasies that we can only hope would become reality, each and every one of us do possess something that make us special. Whether it's the gift of art, dance, having no fashion sense, or juggling.

Mine of course, is that I am the most incredible person you know. Don't thank me for gracing you with my presence, no really... it's my gift to you. I am happy to do it.

Up, up and Away,
Em

Birthday Gift Idea Alert!!! Quill Pen

Today I did the unthinkable and actually accomplished SOME of my To-Do list goals. Not just ONE... but SOME. I know, fasten your seatbelts, this ride is gettin CARAZAY!!!

And of course, wouldn't you know it? I discover something about myself along the way and assume EVERYONE finds me as interesting as I do.

I, Em Leahy, am a pen-aholic. Hi Em.

Ladies and Gents it is NOT just pens. It's mechanical pencils, markers, crayons, sharpies, gelly rolls, and of course pens. black pens, blue pens, clicky pens, cushy pens, fancy pens, ordinary pens. Dr. Suess don't even KNOW.

This obsession of pens that I have is actually borderline ridiculous (which is a roundabout way of saying 'a problem') Every school year. EVERY. ONE. I HAVE...HAVE to buy a new package of pens, pencils, markers and crayons. The fancy stuff I buy when I feel like treating myself. When I go to restaurants, retail merchandisers, my friends houses, work, I can't help but take a pen with me if presented the opportunity. And here is what I have found:

1...Clicky pens from businesses usually kick ass. It's like they know, if your pen sucks and does not work when your potential consumer goes to use it, you know what they are going to do? Flip the pen over and say "Well looks like I won't be fulfilling my sandwich needs at Mr. Goodcents, because they can't properly provide me with a working pen." That is EXACTLY what happens.

2...BIC pens are the ONLY way to go for your everyday/scholastic use. Parents, if you are buying your child Papermates for their first day of school, consider yourself abusive. Your child is now going to look like the IDIOT that can't operate a simple tool like a PEN.

2.5... same rule applies to coloring utensils. Crayola or else. (meaning, or else your child is getting regularly bullied on the playground) RoseArt? Kill yourself.

3... Gelly rolls effin kick ass. ALWAYS.

3.5... Sharpies? also kick ass. ALWAYS. Always a guaranteed cool kid. It doesn't even really matter what size. Actually... I'll take that back, if you are rockin the huge friggin sharpies, you're a little off, cause everyone knows those are only for industrial use like major poster board action or labeling your moving boxes, don't be whippin those out just for shits and gigs.

As for mechanical pencils, well it's hard to go wrong, or maybe it isn't hard at all, but I haven't ever really run into a batch that was completely unusable. I like to jazz it up with several colors, you know depending on my mood for scantron tests.

Nothing beats a good, sturdy, dry erase marker. Dry Erase boards are up there in my list of favorite inventions.

My absolute favorite pen EVER? Herbie: My boxing frog pen that also lights up. I got it with Lauren Larsen when we were shopping for some StuBo thangs. Oh yeah, I still have him. He doesn't work so well anymore, but I will never let Herb go.

Maybe you don't believe me, maybe you think I just dabble in the pen. And although I have a lot of pen learning to do, keep in mind... I just spent 1.5 hours going through my desk drawer that is strictly dedicated to my various writing utensils to ensure they were in proper working order and to unfortunately discard the ones that have finished their life (and HAPPILY discard the ones that have failed at their destiny) and now I just spent about 10 minutes blogging about it.

I guess if you take anything away from this, remember: your pens (especially super cool ones) are not trusted around me and 2... gelly rolls are ALWAYS kickin.

Signing off (in a virtual gelly roll),
Em

And With the Rain

So I got to thinking, yes at 2:20 in the morning, stop judging... that if John Tesh is all about making an impact on your job interviews and stand out and be creative and avoid this and don't eat that before yadda yadda yadda, well I got to thinking if my Flobots Cd would be my one regret, do you know what I would say is my biggest flaw?


The way I eat cereal.

I am not trying to be even the slightest bit humorous right now. I am... an ... AWFUL cereal eater. It's disgusting. DIS-GUS-TING. This is myself that I'm talkin about here people, and I love me, but even I wouldnt want to be around me while I am eating cereal. It is for this reason alone as to why I try as best as possible to not eat cereal in front of other people. Cause I GO TO TOWN and I am NOT ashamed. And I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not, however if I do find myself in the unfortunate circumstance to eat cereal in front of other people, I physically have to make EFFORT not to behave normally. It's pretty diff. ...icult.

Anyways. So if there is anyone out there reading this, or whatever, comment or if you would prefer think about your flaw. Own it. and know how to control it.


Everything is going to the beat
Em

Regret

I don't regret much in this crazy nonsensical life of mine, but if I had to name one, say on a job interview or something, it would be this. The Flobots CD "Fight With Tools", Oh My Sweet Tea, it is the absolute worst.
You know what's even suckier than someone shoving their political agenda down your throat? Doing it to the beat of less than stellar music. GAH. And you must be asking yourself, Really? THAT is your one regret? Yeah. Yeah it is. Usually I have a rule when it comes to buying FULL Cds and that rule is this "I must like THREE songs on the Cd" Well I didn't follow my usually correct standard and I just thought "Well Handlebars was a good song, I think I'll like all of it" WRONG. Wrong wrong wrong. Wrong. So you are probably thinking, Em didn't that Cd come out f*ckin years ago? Yeah but I just imported the ONE good song from it onto my iTunes and it just, it just opened up the wound, you know?

Well with that out of the way I feel I am at peace again.

Next item on the agenda? The Real World.

I. WILL. MAKE. THIS. HAPPEN. I mean, am I right or am I right... I was BORN to be on The Real World. Literally put on this Earth to amuse everyone with my appearance on this oh so entertaining reality show. Everyone would watch it. It will be THE best season. I will be EVERYONE'S favorite. This is my lifelong dream. Unfortunately my lifelong dream has a shelf life of 24. So... I guess I better get crackin? To do this I need to achieve hot-tub-ready physique. Kay that's really it. And apply, of course.

I wonder if there are any work happenings that I want to commemorate.

"I like my cars clean and my women dirty" - Brian aka Biggie
That was classic.

Until the next time party people
Em


Postscript: Shout out to my first follower, Callie. HOOLLLLLEEERRRRRR

So here's the thing...

I was really good about myspace blogging. In fact as I reread old posts, goodness they were hilarious. But now since no one will be caught dead using myspace (correction: I don't want people knowing I still HAVE my myspace) I figure the appropriate thing to do is to just go ahead and get a grown up blog.

Oh and also because due to certain, ahem, Earth products, I have difficulty remembering significant slash hilarious and altogether noteworthy events of my life. And I feel I will need them in the future. If for my grandkids, at least.


Note: examples for 'labels for this post' was scooters... like the coffee shop? or the mode of transportation. I hope no one is blogging while on their scooter, and I hope no one actually drinks scooters.... no offense. But maybe a little.

Snickerdoodles,
Em