Since I wasn't able to watch the VMAs with my usual crowd ... and by usual crowd I mean of course my friends that allow me to make comments throughout the whole thing -- I will instead do it on here! Suck it up, if you don't want to read them, move along.

1) Lady Gaga is a lot shorter than I thought, amazing what heels will do

2) 'Lil Wayne -- stop skateboarding - you're black' HAHAHAHA classic.

3) I still think Jonah Hill is funny and furthermore, I'd still be all over that. Except now he's in shape and so would 10 million other girls -- but just a heads up Jonah -- I woulda been on that pre lifestyle change -- jusss sayin.

4) Niki Minaj -- What in the...

5) Is Jessie J in a cast? And is it bedazzled?

6) Miley -- What is that dress? You look 75. In 1940. And not in the good way.

7) Beavis and Butthead's return will be interesting....do you think they'll modernize it?

8) Jessie J looks like Ginnifer Goodwin -- no seriously -- to the point that I think they're the same person.

9) Ugh Nirvana mentions -- 2 so far, 'nuff said.

10) Chris Brown < Peter Pan

11) "He's my boy" - Justin Bieber about Chris Brown ... watch out Selena Gomez...

12) Gaga, Britney, Beyonce all at once? Oh goodness almost can't even handle it.

13) Yep, still love Beyonce even IF I am not a huge fan of the latest album.

14) Ugh another one.

15) WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!?! I blame Dan and Jeff for lacking in keeping me updated on music that I am COMPLETELY boggled as to who these new artists are. With the exception of Wiz Khalifa (ih) and Foster the People.

16) I LOVE that Lady Gaga didn't break character. Having once dressed in drag myself, it's a blast. Haha so awesome.

Wellp that's all I got because I didn't remember to record it beyond scheduled time so it cut off. Blast it! Oh well. Pretty decent I must say.

Moon Man,
Em

If You're Sleeping, Are You Dreaming

I think the one thingwe take for granted in the entire world more than anything else is memories. We have so many memories and we don't even remember all of them. Right now I am listening to a song that came up on my iTunes and I can tell you exactly why I have this song. A boyfriend of the past once posted the lyrics to this entire song to me, shortly after that it was on the radio as my mother dropped me off at driver's ed which I hated because I didn't know anyone, but hearing this song on the radio and associating it with my then boyfriend meant all the world to me.

And now that I hear this song a good....8 years? later? Maybe more... I can still recall all of that. I can still remember the exact moment that I saw those lyrics for me. I knew then and there he would be my first love. He was and still is. We are good friends now and I thank the Lord every day that we were able to realize we weren't meant for each other at that time and were able to be great friends out of the whole experience. After all, high school relationships are sooooo overrated (ha. Haha.) But at the same time, that kid that for his own privacy I will remain nameless, and I were destined to be in each other's lives forever, we were just too young to understand that it didn't have to include sex.

There's no real moral, and I am sure I will bring up this subject time and time again because it boggles my mind every time how much we dismiss our memories when honestly, they are sooo powerful. a scent, a smell, a color, a show, a movie, or some simple song lyrics can change your mood instantly.

Did I mention this same song also got me through countless days of work as a strawberry picker?!


Someday Blue October, I will call YOU,
Em

Whore-ible Me.

I left this quaint little blog space of mine for tumblr.com because someone convinced me it would be better. I won't say who... but if you ask me, I probably will.
Well I tried it out and I fiddled around with it and tried it out and guess what? It didn't fit. So I came crawling back, tail in between my legs.

So I'm back, blogspotters and I am definitely going to make more of an effort to hang around. Truth being, because I miss it. And also because very soon I am going to assume I will need a forum to analyze and examine my life to an obsolete space so I don't feel like I am burdening someone.

On a different note - I think my favorite thing about watching television shows is trying to figure out which character I most represent. Right now I am engulfed in Sex and the City and I can't decide if I am more Carrie or Miranda. I guess I could just chalk it up to a little bit of both but that's a little lame. I know I'm not Charlotte and I hope I'm not Samantha... I don't have the greatest track record but that came under completely different circumstances than Ms. Jones. I would say I lean more toward Carrie, but there's always that voice that's like "EVERYONE wants to be Carrie, but no one is" but I think I might really be. I can't really explain why. I guess if you have opinions you can definitely chime in at any time.

I wasn't really going anywhere with that. I'm really just trying not to fall asleep. I guess in that regard, I am slightly delirious.

Well glad to be back, more to come I'm sure.

That title... had more to it, but then again I didn't really want to delve into any of that.

But I'll give you one guess,
Em

Hiatus

A hiatus from television is interesting. I mean all "oh my gosh this is a show?" aside, commercials become EXTREMELY fascinating again.

I know when I set out to write this about 5 hours ago, I had 2 specific commercials in mind. However, as time passed, I can only remember the one and in turn gained another one. So here we go and maybe through rambling processes I will remember the missing link!

One: Kleenex Hand Towels.

I don't know how I am supposed to feel. I mean on one end I am getting mind raped about recycling and going green. I get the going green lecture, I feel, so many times a day I'm turning green. (That was a... really lame attempt at saying it's making me sick) and here is a product that discourages the use of normal everyday hand towels and is encouraging throw away towels. Like... I thought everybody threw huge hissy fits about hand towels in public restrooms because it's a paper waste and instead wanted us to move to air dryers. Now here we are creating the disposable hand towel for our HOMES?! Soooo instead of simply changing and washing our cloth towels, they want us to use basically...paper towels. In our bathrooms. AND THAT'S another thing! They're paper towels. They are freaking paper towels. Just put some paper towels in the bathroom you crazy, why are you paying 3 extra dollars for what is baaaasically a paper towel?!?! Alright but I digress. So you may be wondering, as I was how are they marketing this environmental unfriendly product? They hit you with the GERM fear. "oh gosh look at how many germs this cloth towel collects, who KNOWS what people are using that towel for and you are using it to dry your CLEAN hands? Your husband whacked off into them literally ten minutes ago. That's not embroidery that you're feeling, hun. So buy our disposable towels... so you can stay germ free." Like... how can you win? Who can win here? Too crazy.... Now... how does this get crazier? So they got you all hopped up on the germ thing. Ok so in the commercial, if you care to pay attention, and I do because I sat on my pancake ass and watched Lifetime all day because old episodes of Grey's Anatomy were playing. Anyways, the chick... wipes her hands and then wipes the counter.... ? I mean I don't exactly see there being extreme germ transfers because I guess your hands are clean so you aren't bringing any harm to the counter, but at the same time, we still hit air dryers with the back of our hands...? So you advertise this product to be a multi-one-time-use towel and yet you show the woman using it for multiple things. I don't get it. AND on top of it, two kids use one of them to dry their wet SAINT BERNARD. Not like a little friggin chihuahua. A huge mofo Saint Bernard. Now I am no expert by any means, but damnit I'm close and Kleenex, you ain't no Brawny. Your tissues can't even compare to Puffs' kick ASS lotion formula. So get real, just a little bit, please.

The other commerical I still can't remember and I might reblog it if I ever come across it again. Which I'm sure I will.
The other OTHER commercial was the Trojan Fire and Ice. but after my dissection of Kleenex hand towels, it just doesn't seem to be worth it. Basically the commercials are awful. They're cheesy and they don't really make you feel any more comfortable about condoms or buying condoms or buying specialty condoms on top of that. But there was one where they call the condom "blows your hair back" or... something and the couple turn and sure enough their hair is sticking straight out. Not going to lie, it was hilarious. However, you, Trojan, still don't make the condom any less uncomfortable to purchase. But I appreciate your effort. Maybe you could hook up with the Axe commercial guys, because that's just pure genius sometimes.

YES I KNEW it! I KNEW if I rambled long enough I'd remember the other one. Dannon Activa yogurt. HAHA ok. So Jamie Lee is prancing around some park with an Activa Yogurt cart... if you will. And approaches this couple. Attractive-ish woman, and a bigger semi ok looking guy. And she's like "HEY! Eat this delicious yogurt" and they're like alright we've been walking around we could use some yogurt. So they take the yogurt and the woman says "Wait a minute... isn't this the yogurt that..." And JLC cuts her off and is all "HELPS with your digestive system?! YES." The husband then promptly shoves the yogurt back and says "Ohhhhh noooo thank you" And JLC is all "nonono this is different this stuff tastes good!"
--- insert my opinion--- Jamie Lee... that homeboy did NOT push back the yogurt because he feared it tasted awful. I am 99% sure the push back was because SOMEBODY doesn't need that extra oomf in their digestive system. SOMEBODY doesn't want to be in the little boy's room all day, mmkay? And you can totally tell! He's eating it, not even swallowing the yogurt, it is still in his mouth and he's like "oh you're right this does taste good" READ: "oh I am not going to swallow this, that was not my issue with it"

And yes I realize it's a commercial and it's not real, but it still bothers me.
Then again, there is little that does NOT bother me.

New and Improvingly yours,
Em

Well the bathroom and closet are done.

My sincerest apologies. But I am without internet, and therefore, blogging becomes extremely difficult.

But note: One procrastinator + 9 unpacked boxes, do not = a settled in apartment.

Ridiculous.


Pack Tapingly Yours,

Em

I am so incredible.

As much as we try, as much as we strive to go on our day to day and not think about it, the thought will at some point consume us. It will overtake our thoughts until we obsess and obsess to find the perfect answer. I'm talking of course about...

What superpower would you have?

I mean if you could.

A lot of people are soooo generic picking things like superspeed, flying, and reading people's minds. But to me all of that is just so boring (although, not that if I possessed any of those I would be complaining exactly, but I mean be real it's not exactly a 10 on the creativity scale). I guess none of the ones I think of necessarily are. But what would I do with superspeed? I like to take my time for certain tasks. And what if you couldn't control it in anyway? What if you always went fast? And then what about time? What does time become to you? Do other things slow down in order to make up for your speed? It just seems like a superpower that would REALLY only benefit other people I just don't see the use.

Same goes with flying. What the f*%k is the point? I don't like birds first off, so I think I would have supreme issues having a shared space with them, and what about planes? What if you ran into one? People might bargain like oh you could go anywhere blah blah, yeah well how would I take my crap with me? Strap it on my back? That seems like a colossal pain. I don't know, maybe I'm just knocking it before I try, but I don't imagine flying being my cup of tea. I would take a guess that I wouldn't be able to wear dresses or a skirt. How am I supposed to listen to my music? That is THE best part about having a car. Would it require I have wings or a cape or would I just be able to do it? Then there's Batman, which don't get me wrong, I like batman (well I'm not a hero girl so much as a villain girl, but he's got the best villains so I'll hand it to him to be a pretty cool cat. I mean bat) but I digress, but homeboy picked an animal that doesn't even FLY. (Yes. That's right. Bats don't fly. And yes I am using this blog and yes I randomly brought up Batman so I could divulge this factual information. Contrary to popular belief. Bats. Don't. Fly. They glide. They climb and then they glide.) Whatever point is: flying, no good.

Now the real kicker. Reading People's Minds. I want to punch in the face everyone who chooses this. WHY. WHY. WHY. WHY would you make your life a living HELL?!?!?!! Being able to read people's minds? Are you f*%king nuts? Do you like to go mentally insane (note: no offense to those of you who would like to). Then when I spew this out at them they always say the same damn thing that just makes me want to continue punching: "Well I would want the kind where I could turn it on/off when I wanted to." Ok...ok... scratch mentally insane, are you mentally retarded? I am honestly meaning this in the best way possible. Do you really think Mindreader Chooser that you would be able to 'just turn it on/off'? Get. Real. (Well, as real as you can be, I'm discussing superpowers.) The temptation would be too great, mindreading would be like Pringles or cashing in the V-Card... once you pop, you don't stop. It would be inevitable that once having the ability to read minds, you would forever be insatiable. You would be so consumed with the thought of other people's thoughts, it would never end. So what's the big deal, you may wonder? Uh easy, if there is anything you need to learn from me it's this: who gives a f*%k what people think? AND again, WHAT is the point? WHAT?! so you can.... know what people are thinking annnnnnd bend to their every will?? "Oh Barry doesn't like that I'm talking about my cat Cottonswab, I should talk about something else" No crazy, keep talking about your cat if that's what you want to talk about, if he doesn't like it, he needs to man up and say it, not assume you are a lameass that chose mindreader and go ahead and just change the subject yourself. So that was a semi-awful example but you get the point. Mindreading is stupid.

So what power would I choose?
Uh Hi, Storm is only the like coolest comic book chica around. (yeah we are going to go ahead an assume Catwoman was not in the running because EVERYONE knows she actually is). I would, without a doubt, choose to change the weather. Why? Because this benefits me. If I want it to be rainy, it will be rainy. If I want a snow day, a snow day we shall have, if I want it to magically be all melted the next day, then damnit it will be. If I have plans to enjoy a baseball game, it's going to be the perfect mix of sun and shade. "But people will bug you to change the weather to their liking" Oh, I know, but I am the one with the power, not them. They can suck it. And also give me like $50 and I'll look into it. And you can bet, if I controlled the weather, there would be a starry night, every night.

Also, I'd like to have the Mary Poppins ability where she snaps her fingers and shit gets put away. I mean mainly because I am having packing procrastination problems right now. (Did you see that, Didja see what I did there? A little alliteration for you fine folks.) I would want the power because I have awful issues with maintaining a clean room. It is so difficult for me. The biggest problem with it is this: I don't mind the occasz gentlemen caller. But I have a bit of an OCD issh that if my room isn't reasonably tidy, they can't come over. I guess I could just get over that OCD of mine, or just learn to keep my room tidy. But if it's all the same to you, I'll take snappy fingas.


You're probably wondering where this is coming from. I don't really know. Maybe it's because the movie Kick Ass is coming out or has come out (I'm not sure--BUT I was going to protest because I thought it was PG and I was slightly outraged that a PG film had the word 'ass' in it, but then I was informed it was R) or it could be because the DN (that I RARELY, RARELY read) had an article about superheroes. Or because I'm wearing my batman shirt with my black hoodie that I masked as a cape and took awkward fbook pics. Or because this is usually my favorite question to ask potential suitors (I would never want to date a mindreader).

Whatever the reason, know this: although superpowers are magical fantasies that we can only hope would become reality, each and every one of us do possess something that make us special. Whether it's the gift of art, dance, having no fashion sense, or juggling.

Mine of course, is that I am the most incredible person you know. Don't thank me for gracing you with my presence, no really... it's my gift to you. I am happy to do it.

Up, up and Away,
Em